I’m not one for camping, but I don’t mind going on a nature hike every once in a while. Especially when the views are gorgeous, it’s totally worth the climb.
Now, in Tivoli, there’s a cross that sits on top of a hill that overlooks the town. And I always see it from the train station, but never thought it was reachable. Until one year I went hiking up that trail with my dad and bae. We took a wrong turn and didn’t end up at the top, but after seeing the view, I told myself that next time I’m getting all the way to the cross.
And that I did.
It’s quite the hike since I’m no mountain climber and definitely wasn’t wearing the right shoes (bad moment to break in my new Keds!), but after following the marked path, we reached the croce.
Happy with my accomplishment, it was nice to sit down and soak it all in. There was something humbling about the experience because sitting below the cross were a bunch of papers with hand-written prayer intentions. It made me feel almost connected to those people because even though their home is halfway across the world from mine, we’re all still human and experience the same feelings of life, love and loss.
As bae was off shooting a music video with my brother-in-law, it gave me time to take some photos and really appreciate the scenery in front of me. And I don’t know if I was just on a vacation high, or reading some of the prayers, but I swear I had an epiphany. There’s something about being away from home and engulfing myself in a different culture that allows me time to reflect and be stress free, just for a moment.
The past year has been a little difficult for me. Especially from last summer to the first couple of months of 2017. I lost my grandmother and pet chinchilla within 2 months of each other last year. My grandmother had been living with my family on and off since I was about 5. And my chinchilla was my first pet that I had for almost 10 years. So it was really hard to cope, but I had to push through those feelings because there were so many other things happening around me that I didn’t have time to pause and actually mourn.
So I put it aside. I focused on other things like work, because I was hopeful and holding out for a position that I thought I was a candidate for. After months of being told to be patient, and applying and going through the interviewing process two separate times, I didn’t get it.
And that crushed me.
I was so overwhelmed with disappointment that all those feelings I bottled up were starting to surface and I broke.
I desperately needed to get away. I needed a break. So I was counting the days until my trip. And it really helped. Plus, something major happened on this trip that I’ll go into more details in future posts, but I’m thankful I had the opportunity to travel and refresh my mind. And being at the top of Tivoli looking down made me realize I am so small in this world. I can’t wait or count on others to tell me my worth. I have to do it for myself. Appreciate myself. Believe in myself and what I want to accomplish in this life. It’s not going to come easy. I have to work for what I want. Maybe harder than others, but I don’t want to waste anymore time. I don’t want to be stuck in a place just going through the motions. I want to start living my best life, so I can experience more moments like I did climbing to the top of that cross.
The pictures don’t really do it justice, but here are some of the photos I took looking down upon Tivoli.